You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
