i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
