you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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