Screwed.edu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
