he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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