Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
