he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
