careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
