What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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