So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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