; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
