But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
