my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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