Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
