Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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