THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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