TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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