doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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