Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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