it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish my penis had a tongue
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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