My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
