whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
