that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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