I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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