Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
