Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
