Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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