Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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