Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
