So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
