Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is my gift to your gina
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
