I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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