I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
