Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
