Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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