Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
