the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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