Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
