you win again, gameday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Holy shit dude........stairs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
