...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can i not drive my cunt home
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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