So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
