so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
