ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
50% drunk capacity currently
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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