question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
