just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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