I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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