Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
