Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
