Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
