im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
